Resilience is not about being strong all the time.

Resilience is a skill we can learn and develop.

It grows through our ability to recognise signals from the body, to look around and notice signs of safety in our environment, to accept support from people who care for us, and to develop a sense of agency, the feeling that we can influence our own lives.

Resilience is the ability of the autonomic nervous system to respond flexibly to challenges and return to a state of balance after experiencing stress.

A person with healthy resilience, when faced with tragedy or a painful life experience, is able to notice the emotions that arise. They do not dismiss them, minimise them, or disconnect from them. Instead, they allow themselves to experience and move through what is happening. They turn towards their resources, the things that offer support and nourishment. They call a friend, spend time in nature, pray, or seek connection in whatever way feels meaningful to them.

They choose connection rather than isolation: connection with themselves, with other people, and with the world around them. They allow themselves to slow down. They allow some things to remain unfinished. When they feel sad, they can acknowledge it and say, “I feel sad,” rather than trying to convince others that everything is fine.

Over time, at their own pace, they gradually return to the present moment.

The sadness may still be there. Resilience does not mean that difficult emotions disappear. It means being able to carry them while still remaining connected to life, to yourself, and to what is happening around you.